OK. All right. I get it now.
I can’t say I’m totally comfortable with it, but I’ve figured out how to read the signals. Black, metallic gray, and red versus pastel shades of blue and green: the bathroom cabinet clearly suggests that I am the villain in our marriage. If the forces of Proctor and Gamble are to be trusted, my wife is some kind of gentle fairy Jedi, and I am the dark Sith lord of personal hygiene.
Well, so be it. I will embrace the dark side. Just don’t blame me when all the covers end up on my side of the bed in the morning.