Link: http://proverbs365.ericasp.com/

In light of this morning's headlines annoucing the results of yesterday's ice-hockey game between the United States and Canada (good news!) and yesterday's professional-basketball game between the Cleveland Cavaliers and the Orlando Magic (bad news), I thought it might be interesting to copy today's post from my ongoing Proverbs 365 project:  P2204 - NHL vs. NBA.

Humility and the fear of the LORD bring wealth and honor and life (Proverbs 22:4).

Different sports have completely different cultures. The character qualities that are prized in golf (i.e. low profile, high self-confidence, clear-headedness) are completely different than the character qualities that are valued in American football (i.e. brash intimidation, team chemistry, sharply-channeled rage). And nowhere is this cultural contrast more clear, in my opinion, than in the differences between players from the National Basketball Association (NBA) and the National Hockey Leage (NHL). The NBA and NHL seasons overlap heavily. Both the NBA and the NHL have huge fan bases in North America (I enjoy both sports greatly, for the record). However, in spite of all the apparent similarities, NBA players and NHL players seem like they come from completely different planets, to hear them interviewed by the media. NBA culture seems to create players who usually come across as bragadocious, showy, territorial, and trash-talking. "I'm better than him." "In your face." "I got game and he don't." "He better get outta my face or I'm gonna throw him out." Many of the league's biggest stars are close personal friends with gangsta rappers (or occasionally even rappers themselves!). Throughout the past couple of seasons, two of the NBA's most dominant centers have developed an ongoing vendetta about who most deserves the nickname "Superman." It's just that kind of culture.

NHL culture, however, seems to create players who usually come across as very plain, unassuming, even-keeled, and "regular guy" (and not nearly as interesting as NBA players, in interviews!). Case in point: I recently read an on-line article about Ryan Miller, the goalie for the American men's ice-hockey team in the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver (who also plays in the NHL, of course), which underscored the cultural difference between hockey players and basketball players. Through the weeks leading up to the Olympics, Miler had been repeatedly hyped as the Americans' best chance for success at the Olympic games. However, in responding to the hype, the star goalie responded with typical hockey-culture candor:

"It's flattering when you hear that," Miller told ESPN.com. "I don't know how many photo sessions I've had with the American flag draped around me or behind me; it's bordering on ridiculous. You know, I'm one piece of the team. I understand the whole concept of a goalie being able to steal a game. In these tournaments, everyone starts to hype how a goalie can steal a game; just like the Stanley Cup playoffs, everybody starts to hype how a hot goalie can win you a Stanley Cup. But the team in front of you has to play solid, and the goalie almost always reflects the way his team is playing... You're not going to skate through a tournament or win a Stanley Cup without a team that's paying attention to detail," continued the Buffalo Sabres netminder. "So I'm going to try and hold up my end of the bargain and give my team a chance to win. And if I feel I've given them that opportunity, then I've done the best I can, and hopefully that's good enough."

It's crazy to notice the different vibes for these different sports, isn't it?!? They both have their advantages and disadvantages. As far as sports and cultures are concerned you can't really elevate one over the other. But in real life, the Proverbs would suggest, it's much better to be an "NHL player" than an "NBA player." A person can get much further in life -- in business, in relationships, in personal reputation -- if they can maintain the attitude of a humble, unimposing, magnanimous "NHL player," as opposed to the attitude of a prideful, self-promoting, chip-on-the-shoulder "NBA player." If an NBA player tried to take up ice-hockey and bring his NBA attitude into the NHL's locker rooms and arenas, he would be ostracized from the rest of the team, alienated from the fans (who seem to appreciate the NHL's humility factor, even if it does make for more boring interviews), and smashed out on the ice at every opportunity. And this really seems to be the way that the "real world" works, on issues of pride and humility. The proud are destroyed eventually, while humility and the fear of the LORD bring wealth and honor and life. Yes, if your basketball skills are up to snuff, you might want to work on your NBA persona and see how that works out for you, throughout the rest of your life. But if they're not (and let me assure you: they're probably not), I would recommend developing your NHL persona and letting that guide you.

It seems to me that there's an unspoken cultural code in the American Midwest, which subtly discourages the celebration of one's own birthday.  One can celebrate a friend's birthday, whole-heartedly and unashamedly; but to celebrate one's own birthday by throwing oneself a party -- or even by simply informing other people, "Today is my birthday" -- is considered selfish and uncouth.  Back in college, a friend of mine coined the term "Birthday Announcer" to describe the type of person who goes around proudly telling people that it's his birthday; and I knew exactly what he meant.  There's just a certain perception about these things, back where I come from.  Perhaps I'm overstating the American cultural position here, but it definitely seems like birthdays are meant to be held as some kind of loosely-kept secret.

The Dutch, on the other hand, are almost categorically "Birthday Announcers."  Birthday parties are usually organized by the birthday celebrant himself (or herself), and it's even common for someone to bake or buy their own birthday treats to share with friends at work or in school.  There's no shame in celebrating one's own birthday.  And while it's taken me awhile to get used to the cultural shift, I have to say that there's something nice about the Dutch way of doing things.  It makes sense, actually -- and it helps to alleviate any potential feelings of self-pity or disillusionment.  Quite awhile ago, I started admiring the Dutch tradition of unashamedly serving as one's own "Birthday Announcer."  But I've still had a hard time crossing that cultural barrier for myself...

Until this year.

I feel like it's a sign of my cultural integration that I'm finally going so far as step across the divide and become a "Birthday Announcer" myself.  Indeed, I'm not only announcing my birthday (coming up on the 26th of February) -- but I'm also throwing my own party, together with two other friends who happen to share birthdays within a week of my own.  This week, I sent out the following birthday invitation by e-mail...

Dear friends,

Once upon a time, there were three friends living in Amsterdam.  They were different in many ways:  one coming from the mountains of Colorado; one coming from the farmlands of Ohio; and one coming from the flatlands of Zuid Holland.  But in other ways, they were the same:  enjoying good food, good music, good stories, and good time together with friends.  As fate would have it, their birthdays all fell within nine days of each other.  So one day, they decided to celebrate their birthdays together, with a big party.  They prepared all kinds of good food, good music, and good stories, and they invited their friends to celebrate with them in the heart of Old Amsterdam.  And they lived happily ever after.  The End.

OK.  So that may not be the best story ever -- but it does get the point across that a very special Storytelling Triple-Birthday Extravaganza is being organized for Saturday, the 27th of February, starting at 19:00 at the [e-mail me or send me an e-mail if you really want to know the address, so I don't have to post it here as a matter of public record]… And you are hereby cordially invited to join us for the celebration!  Patricia Flynn, Ariënne van Leussen, and Eric Asp are the hosts / birthday celebrants, and we are really looking forward to a great party.  Like most parties, there will be time for simply chatting while sharing in drinks and snacks and birthday cake (remember:  this is a party involving the baking talents of both Ariënne van Leussen and Marci Asp!).  But in addition to this, we will also share in several rounds of storytelling.  Not readings, like you might find at a typical open microphone event, but oral storytelling.  Thus: no pre-arranged, carefully worded, written accounts, but rather spontaneous, random storytelling, like you might have heard around the fire 1000 years ago.  The idea came from the Mezrab Cultural Café here in Amsterdam -- where people regularly gather to share myths, fables, legends, remembrances, and personal anecdotes -- and it seemed like a fun idea for a birthday party.  Yes, of course, you could choose to share stories that involve the birthday celebrants (i.e. stories about Patricia, Ariënne, and/or Eric).  But this is by no means the only type of story allowed.  You could share an amusing story about something that happened to you on your way to the supermarket… or make up a legend about how the leopard got his spots… or tell a stylized version of a Bible story… or pass on a treasured family story about how your grandparents got married… The possibilities are nearly endless!  The specific form of the evening will be determined by those of you who come to celebrate with us.  We just want to spend time enjoying the company of good friends enjoying good stories.

So all that to say this:  please mark your calendar for Saturday, the 27th of February, starting at 19:00 and going until late (towards the end of the festivities, there may even be some dancing!).  If you wanted to bring a nice card or gift or bottle of something to drink, that would certainly be welcome.  But more than anything, we hope that you will be able to come with your stories and be a part of the fun.  We're looking forward to celebrating with you at the end of the month…

Patricia
Ariënne
Eric

And to show just how Dutch (and "Birthday Announcerish") I've become, I thought I might even go so far as to post the invitation (with the exception of the location information, to protect my friends' privacy) here on my blog, just to make sure that I haven't forgotten anyone.  If you'd like to come and celebrate with us, please let me know and I'll supply you with the rest of the information.  Forgive me, my Midwestern friends, if it seems that I've gone astray.  I promise that, on this particular point, it's only one day of the year. :-)

Four score and seven years ago our fathers family brought forth, upon this continent, a new nation household...

It was exactly seven years ago that our family moved from Ohio to Amsterdam.  It feels like a very long time -- considering how these years represent over 20% of my life, approximately 60% of my marriage, and nearly 100% of my children's lives... But it also feels like a very short time -- considering how much life and ministry has been packed into the time period.

It can be sobering to consider all of the people, all of the prayers, and all of the sacrifices that have been put into this "Amsterdam Project," through the years.  The words of Lincoln's Gettysburg Address (quoted/adapted above) seem remarkably appropriate, considering all this context.  This day of remembrance feels somehow heavy, solemn, and yet simultaneously beautiful and profound.  So today we are remembering.  Reflecting.  And most important, Realizing.

The Dutch are crazy about their waterkokers (literally:  "water boilers").  From a Dutch perspective, it is the only way to make hot water for tea.  For the first several years that we lived in the Netherlands, our family did not own a waterkoker.  Our family doesn't drink tea all that much to begin with -- but if we ever needed it, we figured we could just heat water up in the microwave.  It really wasn't that hard, and we felt like we got by just fine -- even being able to offer hot tea to our guests -- without the waterkoker.  But our Dutch friends were completely baffled by our ability to live in a home without a waterkoker.  We'd get the strangest looks when doing our microwave method of water-heating, and just about every Dutch babysitter we had stay with the kids would call us at some point in the evening to ask where we kept our waterkoker.  It really is considered to be a standard piece of equipment in any kitchen.

But what's strange is that waterkokers are not very common at all in the United States of America.  As far as I'm aware, there's not even a commonly accepted English term for such a device (which is why I keep going back to the Dutch word, "waterkoker" instead of any kind of English equivalent).  It's not standard at all.  Millions of Americans live the entirety of their lives without ever knowing about the marvels of a waterkoker.  What the Dutch consider indispensible is obviously not indispensible for everyone.

I have to admit that I felt very critical towards what I perceived to be the Dutch lack of creativity in heating their water... until I realized that the Americans are equally hung up on their own cultural biases when it comes to kitchen appliances.  The best point of comparison that comes to mind is the garbage disposal.  A large percentage of American homes are equipped with a garbage disposal -- installed underneath the kitchen sink, able to pulverize and puree any sort of food waste that gets (either intentionally or unintentionally) pushed down the drain, to be flushed out with the sewage.  Like the Dutch with their waterkokers, most Americans consider their garbage disposals to be essential and think it's weird or gross if they have to handle their waste products any other way.

However, garbage disposals are completely unheard of in the Netherlands.  Garbage disposals in the Netherlands are probably even less common waterkokers in the USA.  In fact, Dutch people would probably consider garbage disposals to be wasteful and environmentally unsound (I read a book recently, in Olivia's classroom, which talked about the harmful effects of putting anything other than water down the drain).  So clearly, garbage disposals are not anywhere near as necessary as the American public seems to think they are.  Millions of Dutch people live the entirety of their lives without ever knowing the marvels of a garbage disposal.  What the Americans consider indispensible is obviously not indispensible for everyone.

I'm not pointing all of this out to make any kind of value judgment (i.e. that labels of "right" and "wrong" need to be affixed to either culture).  I just think it's fascinating to notice the differences.  It goes far beyond waterkokers and garbage disposals, too.  I had a long conversation yesterday with a Dutch friend of mine who insisted that it's impossible to use what I would call a "cordless drill" for drilling holes in walls -- because his understanding is that the cordless devices are merely electronic screwdrivers and that all corded devices are drills.  They're two completely separate things, in his mind.  And while he's right that some jobs do require a heavy-duty corded drill (particularly if trying to drill through heavy concrete), I also pointed out that most jobs (drilling through wood, metal, drywall, and brick) are entirely possible to do with a cordless "screwdriver!" (since I've spent the last year doing many of these types of drilling jobs with just such a device).

One culture's "impossible" is another culture's "of course."  I don't know why it works that way.  But it does.  We stand to learn a lot if we can pick and choose from a smorgasbord of cultures, rather than entrenching ourselves in one particular point of view.  Easier said than done, I'm sure.  Still it's definitely worth the effort...

We're enjoying the start to our Christmas vacation in Ohio.

Over lunch one of these days, our family was talking about the most obvious differences that we notice between the Netherlands and the United States of America.  It's a common conversation in our trans-Atlantic family.  But it was especially interesting to hear some of Elliot's key points of observation.  Interesting... and enlightening.  Here are some of the things he noted: 

1. American automobile license plates are a lot different from their European counterparts:  a different shape, more colors, more artistically-designed, positioned differently on the car (he seriously went on about the license plates longer than anything else).
2. American automobiles are a lot bigger.  There are a lot more vans and trucks.
3. The "stones" in the sidewalks are a lot bigger in American than they are in Amsterdam (i.e. comparing concrete paving in the USA with stone grids in the Netherlands).
4. The houses are a lot further apart in America.
5. American rooftops are more slanted (while Elliot seems to think that Dutch rooftops are flatter), and they have a lot more chimneys sticking up into the air.
6. There's a lot more commercial signage in the USA than in the Netherlands (which I had never really noticed before, honestly, but is rather startling once your eyes are opened to the difference).
7. People in America like Christmas a lot and put out lots of lights on their houses.  This was one of the first things that both Elliot and Olivia noticed upon landing in Cleveland.  I think an exact quote from one of the kids was, "Whoa!  It's like Christmas City out there!"
8. The chocolate milk in the USA is a lot sweeter and a lot thicker than the chocolate milk in the Netherlands.  Almost more like Dutch vla (pudding) than like milk.