Our church is going through a season of transition right now.  And as I was thinking about all this church transition stuff, it made me think of my old days in my high school's marching band.

Yes, I realize that it's a very odd association.  For those who aren't familiar with marching bands, they're a part of the American football phenomenon, where musical entertainment comes out in the middle of the football game, during half-time, to put on a kind of show.  If it sounds kind of weird, well, that's because it is kind of weird. Even in America, people in marching bands are considered a little bit weird and geeky (and I can only get away with saying this because I used to be one of those weird and geeky people in the marching band!).  But it's tradition, so everyone kind of goes along with it.  Anyway, the way that a marching band performance works is that you've got a group of maybe 50 to 100 musicians (big tuba-like Sousaphones, trumpets, drums, trombones), and they're all marching around on the football field, creating an interesting visual performance while playing their music.  The whole thing basically works with the band morphing from one shape into another.

For instance, maybe they’re doing a half-time show on big Hollywood movie music... They might be playing the theme song from the Pirates of the Carribbean movies, for instance, and then march into the shape of a big pirate ship, as seen from up in the stadium.  And then, maybe they switch into a song from Batman, and then they move around and everybody changes places to make the famous bat symbol.  Or it could be more basic stuff, too -- like circles and diamonds and other geometric shapes... But this is basically how marching bands work.  It’s all timed to the music so that the coolest shapes come out at the most dramatic swells in the music.

But what’s fascinating to me about marching band performances (and what brings me to the analogy that I’m trying to draw out, here) is what they have to teach us about transition.  It’s amazing, if you think about it, that a group of musicians can take the shape of a pirate ship... And then you take the same set of musicians, and they can also take the shape of the Batman symbol... Or a circle, or a diamond, or the word “Ohio” or whatever!  However, if you’re watching a show, and you take any step in the process and select a random freeze frame, it might look like pure chaos.  Like something dumb or demented.  Because there’s really no good, natural segue from a pirate ship to a Batman symbol.  The morph has to be a bit messy.  But just because it’s messy at any given point doesn’t mean that we need to despair.  We can have faith and hope that we’re going to see something big and beautiful when the next swell in the music comes.

This is where our church’s current transitions (primarily related to adaptations in the way that we do small groups) may feel very chaotic at times.  People in our church may feel like, “I haven’t enjoyed good, small-group fellowship for over a month now!”  Or they might feel like they don’t really want to shift from Home Groups to Communities, because they liked the look and feel of Home Groups as they used to be.  Others might feel like they're being left out of the new plans, like there’s no natural point where they're going to fit in when all the dust settles.  It may often feel like “I can’t take all the drama of this church anymore!”  And honestly, I couldn’t blame anybody for feeling frustrated or confused at times!  Because I feel that way sometimes!  If you take any random freeze-frame from these last couple of weeks (or maybe from the next couple of weeks, yet to come), it might look like pure and total chaos!

It’s good to remember that we really sensed God’s leading as we went into these transitions.  We talked about it and prayed about it and talked about it some more, as a Servant Leadership Council (all nine of us).  And ultimately, we made a unanimous decision to move in this direction.  It wasn’t a 5-4 vote, or 7-3, or anything like that.  We all felt God’s leading together, and we did a lot of planning and preparing to make sure that we weren’t hastily jumping into things.  Our current ideas for how to do church may not be perfect -- but they’ve certainly been well thought-out!

And while we may be going through a season of transition, we need to remind ourselves that God is a God of peace, not chaos.  God is the one who created the Earth from its vague, mysterious, primordial soup.  Genesis 1 records how, "The earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.  And God said, 'Let there be light... water... sky... land... vegetation... heavenly bodies... fish... birds... animals... people...' God saw all that he had made, and it was very good."  This is also the same God who brought Israel through a dark period of its history, when the kings deserted the way of the Lord and the people drifted towards idols.  God spoke to Elijah during an especially dark and discouraging season of ministry, when the prophet was convinced that everyone had rejected the Lord’s covenant, broken down His altars, put all the other prophets to death, and seemingly left him all alone.  In the midst of that chaos and confusion, God spoke to Elijah and reassured him that everything was still under control.  And not just in a general sense either.  He provided specific names and details and reminded Elijah that he was not alone.  1 Kings 19:15-18 records the conversation:  "Go back the way you came, and go to the Desert of Damascus.  When you get there, anoint Hazael king over Aram.  Also, anoint Jehu son of Nimshi kind over Israel, and anoint Elisha son of Shaphat from Abel Meholah to succeed you as prophet.  Jehu will put to death any who escape the sword of Hazael, and Elisha will put to death any who escape the sword of Jehu.  Yet I reserve seven thousand in Israel—all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and all whose mouths have not kissed him."

Furthermore, in addition to the anecdotal references to God bringing order out of chaos, it's significant to remember that the Bible tells us very specifically -- very directly -- that God is not a God of chaos or disorder, but a God of peace.  He’s one who brings order out of chaos.  1 Corinthians 14:33 states it unequivocally:  "God is not a God of disorder but of peace."

I don’t know about you, but I find it very encouraging to think about these things while we’re in the midst of transition.  I find it encouraging to remember that any discomfort that we’re experiencing is just seasonal and passing.  If we can keep ourselves centered on Jesus -- on the God of peace -- then we’ll be able to make it through just about anything.  We can trust that God has a well-designed halftime show drawn up for us; we can just keep marching in faith, following his directions until the next swell in the music and the next dramatic revelation of His shape for us.

Our home group is coming to a close this week.  In preparation for our church's transition to Communities, we're disbanding this fellowship -- with the members of our group poised to play key roles in initiating, establishing, or reinforcing multiple other Communities within Amsterdam50.  For the most part, we're pretty excited for what lies ahead.  But I'd also say that we're going through something of a grieving process, remembering all that God has done through the years in developing this little spiritual family.

It's been a good group.

We started with a random group of strangers, meeting up for a drink in the cafe on the Rozengracht and awkwardly getting to know one another.  Me and Marci, Jen and Jurren (although they weren't Jen-and-Jurren back in those days), Shawn, Sherry... maybe one or two others that I can't remember.  We didn't know exactly what to talk about, but we knew we eventually wanted to become a home group.  A couple of weeks later, I remember sharing my 26th birthday on the 26th of February, 2003 with the home group with our first evening meeting -- in the Leidsekade apartment where our family was staying at the time.  And since that time, we've spent many evenings -- and mornings and afternoons -- together with each other...

Over the years, our group grew and developed.  We eventually multiplied, and then multiplied again, and again -- with a total of four groups having descended from that original home group (though one of the four groups died and reabsorbed back into one of the other branches of the family tree).  The names of the people who've been involved along the way are many:  Renske, Nathalie, Mariska, Sander, Marco, Kor, Gerard, Jetske, Jens, Luka, Elisa, Sokol, Alex, Samuel, Melanie, Bram, Linda, Leslie, William, Robert, Christel, Christian, Mirjam, Guy, Becky, Geert Jan, Anne, Mourad, Lukas, Vera, Neil, Maria, Rosa, Ben, Saskia, Suzy, Meghan, Rada, Jeroen, Tanya, Chenther, Amarys, Fons, Tobias, Piotr, Martijn, Steven, Marcus... and this is by no means an exhaustive list!  Not only have people gone from our group(s) to help start other groups in Amsterdam -- but we've even sent out "missionaries" to Brussels and Southeast Asia!

I'd like to think that future generations will be blessed by the legacy of our home group(s) as well.  Certainly our children have been blessed by all the surrogate uncles and aunts.  And in addition to Elliot and Olivia and Cor,  there's been Selina and Selina, Jaydee, Lise, Daisy, and Eron... plus a number of other couples who have hooked up in the context of our group and could easily become their own families someday.  It's crazy to think of what all can come out of a home group!

Along the way, we've had some hard times.  I remember bringing flowers to Linda after her cat, Bagheera, died.  I remember counseling Jen and Jurren through a break-up and temporary home group reassignment (though they're back together again now).  I remember the time that some creepy guy kept calling up Renske in the middle of the night.  I remember more good-bye parties than I care to count.  I remember the feeling of defeat when the home group I was leading two years ago had to fold.  I remember the conversations that our group had about a year ago, when we realized that we were doing a pretty crappy job of listening to each other and really loving each other.

But, of course, we've had some good times, too.  I remember when Chenther and Steven helped to carry the unbelievably heavy granite slab that now serves as our kitchen counter (they always say that you know your true friends by the ones who'll show up to help you move!).  I remember when Jurren, Renske, Sokol, Leslie, Nathalie, Jeroen, Vera, and Maria were baptized.  I remember winning the "50 Cup," an absurd aluminum-foil trophy handed out for the winner of our church's summer speurtocht, for three years in a row!  I remember our children performing for the group before weekly Bible studies.  I remember special dinners together.  I remember countless birthday parties and a handful of weddings...

It's been a good run.  Not perfect.  But good.  We really did succeed in what we set out to do.  We succeeded in becoming a spiritual family that could grow and develop together through the years.

And now it's coming to an end.  Several of our group members have already left town for the holidays, and when we all come back for the new year, we'll be moving onto Communities.  It'll be odd, in some ways.  But I'm hoping and praying that what's yet to come will be more of the same -- and perhaps even better stuff down the road...

[In case you're interested (especially for those who have been a part of the home group at one point or another), you can find a small, random, retrospective collection of photographs in the Zolder50 Pictures section of this website.]

I don't believe there are any photographs of the initial staff team that moved over to Amsterdam in 2002-03 to help establish Stichting GCM-Netherlands.  At least I don't have any.  The above compilation of images from a staff boating excursion (in June 2003) is the closest I can get, when looking through my own archives.  But I still remember that team well:  Steve, Chris, Todd, Lee, Patricia, and me.  Five married guys, and one single woman.  It was a good team; but it started changing within a month of when these photos were taken.

Steve (and family) left first.  Eventually Joe (and family) moved over.  Linda, too.  And we also welcomed two interns from GCM's One Year program:  Erica and Jen.  Bret eventually came on staff, too.  So in the first officially-posed Stichting GCM-Netherlands staff team group portrait (taken in February 2004), we had six married guys and three single women (Linda was also living in Amsterdam at the time, but her role was not yet related to Stichting GCM-Netherlands activities).

Well, time has passed and teams have changed.  To the point that our current staff team is as seen below:  Naomi, Patricia, Eva, Leslie, Linda, and me (photo from summer 2009).

That's five single women and one married man.  And the demographic shift is not just a staff team thing!  The original church-planting team (which also included many people who came to Amsterdam as students and professionals), started out with a total of 36 people (not counting children).  Then, over the following two years, an additional 10 "reinforcements" were sent over to Amsterdam from the United States -- thus bringing the total to 46 people (though there were never more than 35 of us here at the same time).  Of those 46 people, there were 28 women, and 18 men.  A total of 14 married couples.  So women have always been the majority -- though men have historically been the majority on the GCM-NL staff team -- and historically speaking, there have been slightly more married folks than singles.

So it strikes me as ironic that I'm now the only male left, and Marci and I are the only married couple (though Heidi, also from the original team, has since married a Nederlander).  Ironic, and yes:  sometimes a little bit sad and lonely.

But more than any kind of disappointment or disenfranchisement, I think our staff team's demographic shifts are simply a poignant demonstration of change.  In a good way.  Our ministry has changed a lot through the years.  And yes, it is possible to be sad and wistful about the changes.  The church we came to start has become a dramatically different church since 2002-2003 -- but that's simply because it's a living organism.  A growing, adapting, maturing, dynamic organism.  And our staff team changes have paved the way for these developments.  Our staff team changes have opened the way for young Europeans to take on leadership roles and develop a sense of ownership for what's going on in the church, while the staff of GCM-NL have been able to start branching out in other directions of ministry.  I have to believe that our times (and our teams) are in God's hands.  And that's a comforting thing to realize.

When we first started our church in Amsterdam, and people would ask us to describe our “church,” we would often describe our ministry space.  “It’s kind of like a café.”  Comfortable couches, café tables and chairs, careful consideration for lighting and ambiance.  Or we’d describe our weekly worship gatherings.  “It’s kind of like a concert.”  Some music, some spiritual story-telling, just sit back and enjoy the show.  People were intrigued by these explanations.  They would remark that they’d never heard of a church like that before, and that they might like to come and visit sometime.  And sometimes they would come.  Often, they’d like it.  They’d keep coming back, and over time our church grew to the point where people were overflowing into side rooms and staircases, coming to enjoy the “café church,” the “concert church.”

As much as we enjoyed some of the strengths of the “café church,” with time we’ve also come to realize some of the weaknesses associated with it as well.  And close to the top of that list of weaknesses, one of the most obvious results of a “café church” is a congregation of “customers” or “consumers.”  The café is the place where you go to sit with friends, soak up the gezelligheid, and order food and beverages, prepared by a cook in the back room and served directly to your table by a waitress.  If you’re treated well, you keep coming back, tipping the waitress -- maybe even recommending the place to your friends.  But if you’re not treated well (maybe simply because you came during a time when the place was under-staffed), you’ll scoff and find another café.  Because that’s the way it works.  It's the same thing in the concert business.  If you put on a good show, you sell lots of records and merchandise and tickets for future shows.  But if you don’t deliver a good show (maybe simply because the lead singer had a head cold), you’ll scoff and spend your entertainment euros (or dollars) elsewhere.

Do you see how problems could develop when the café or concert model is applied to establishing a church?

How weird would it be if the cook comes out and asks the customer if they might be willing to step back into the kitchen and help prepare the refreshments for the other customers?  Imagine the awkwardness if the waitress reveals that she’d really like you to help with serving the other customers?  Can you imagine the customers having their commitment
implicitly questioned when they stop coming around (or come around
less)?  It’s no wonder that a “café church” like ours has had a hard time getting people to help with “serving” or volunteering to help with various ministry responsibilities like making the coffee at the beginning of a church function, keeping kids occupied during worship gatherings, and cleaning up afterwards!  Yes, of course everyone realizes that coffee and childcare and cleanliness are nice amenities within a church context -- not to mention good music and good messages -- but when the service economy model is applied to Christian community, th e situation can be very challenging if not downright counter-productive.

Today, we’re re-envisioning our understanding of what the church is and how we operate.  These days, we like to think of our church community more as a “family” or a “home.”  Yes, we still welcome others into our “living room" or "dining room,” but they are as guests in our home, not as customers within our franchise location. We do our best to keep the place tidy and welcoming -- perhaps needing to explain unique traditions in our family.  But we don't rearrange all the furniture and put up false pretenses about who we are (dysfunctional families do this, of course, but we strive to maintain a healthy home environment!).  We're a family, for better or for worse.  Those who regularly sit at our table and share meals with us typically help with preparing the meals, clearing the table, washing the dishes; this is just part of being a family.  Even when we're out and about -- around the city, at work, in school, or wherever -- we're still a family.  But we also like to spend time together, hearing stories about what's happening in each others' lives and simply enjoying each others' company.  As our children grow up and become mature, we bless them and release them to start their own families (not franchises).  We keep in touch and celebrate special occasions together, but we do not practice "quality control."  We are a family, and we trust in God's ability to develop successive (and overlapping) generations.

This "family church" concept also has its strengths and weaknesses.  I'm sure of that.  But I'm content forour church to experience those as we go.  To me, the distinction between a café and a home is a helpful one.  How do I plan for family events?  How should I treat a guest in my home?  Do I talk to the person who prepares the meal as if he or she is the Maître d’ or the Mom?  It's a big difference.  Don't you think?