Why don't I take personal retreats more often? Such an experience -- like the one I just experienced at the Benedictusberg -- inspires me and renews my love for life and ministry. It provides priceless perspective and spiritual refreshment. And at just €30 a day (for three lavish meals per day, three coffee-and-snack breaks per day, my own private room, plus access to the monastery's sanctuary, library, and grounds!), such extravagance is really quite affordable.

Ever since getting back to Amsterdam, I've been encouraging my friends to consider taking personal retreats of their own. I know it takes some work to set the time aside and break out of our normal routines for such an experience (I, too, regularly feel the resistance -- even knowing how great such experiences can be!). Even so, I cannot more highly recommend a regular discipline of seeking special encounters with God!

Even though a personal retreat is, by definition, somewhat "mystical," I thought it might be useful to demystify the idea of a spiritual retreat (i.e. answering the question, "What exactly am I supposed to be doing with three whole days of being away from regular life, seeking God?"). This is the approach that I mapped out for myself, on this most recent retreat. It can be adapted to fit individual tastes and personalities (in fact, I myself reviewed and refined my own plan on the train ride down from Amsterdam to the borderlands between the Netherlands, Germany, and Belgium). Still, I went into my personal retreat with a handful of general goals in mind:

• To read through all my old journals. My collection goes back to 1999, so there's some significant ground to cover there, but I felt it was important for me to do this. As I read through the old journals, I looked for trends, scriptural inspiration points, and spiritual inkshuks through the years. I tried to get a feel for the overall arc of my life story, with the hope that this might help me to anticipate and follow any upcoming plot twists.
• To take long, meandering walks (international walks, even, in the case of this most recent retreat!). I wanted to soak the styrofoam cup of my soul in the oceans of God's presence.  I wanted to trade my anxieties, arguments, and emotional architecture for God's mind about me, the family, my church, and the world. I wanted to experience God's peace, even in the face of any disturbing, unsettling, unexpected truths that might be revealed in my life. I wanted to sync my spirit with God's Spirit.
• To re-read some of my "core material" from the Bible. For each individual, there seems to be certain sections of the Bible which regularly and repeatedly speak into that person's life through the years. For me, this "core material" includes Joshua, the Proverbs, Matthew, Acts, Romans... and maybe some of the other Old Testament history books. So going into my personal retreat, I determined to spend some time reading these parts of the Bible and letting myself be led down rabbit-trails of cross-references, as God would lead. I wanted to be inspired.
• To experience (however temporarily) the monastic life. Believe it or not, I was actually looking forward to spartan surroundings, early morning prayers, and a general atmosphere of silence and simplicity. I did have some anxieties about being in such a Catholic environment and adhering to such a right schedule (particularly worried that it might get in the way of my opportunities to go on long walks or spend extended time in solitude)... But even so, I wanted to go through the motions of monasticism. I sensed that it might be surprisingly refreshing... and indeed this sense turned out to be accurate.

Of course, in all this I realized that it was much less important to consider what I wanted out of these three days, as opposed to preparing myself for however God might have wanted to use the time. Still I felt that it was helpful to outline some expectations ahead of time -- and then submit them all, respectfully, to God.

I can understand that the monastic experience is probably not for everybody -- and maybe even not always what I would need for my own spiritual refreshment, depending upon the season of life -- but I have to say that it was quite satisfying for me this week. The prayer services provided me with time for reading the Bible and getting fresh input from outside my normal stream of consciousness. The shorter breaks between services provided me with time for personal processing (even while eating) and journaling (including reading old journals). The longer breaks between the services, especially in the late afternoon, provided time for long walks and prayer (I always seem to pray best when I'm walking). And the breaks between sunset and dawn provided time for more extended journaling and analysis of my journal archives, which are a kind of prayer and meditation for me. All of these activities felt like they were infused with a sense of prayer and meditating on God's Word, which is just what I really wanted for my three-day getaway: an extended soak in God's goodness and nearness.

In case you couldn't tell, I came back to Amsterdam with a rich feeling of satisfaction and gratitude -- and a hearfelt recommendation for others to experience the same.