Some people have an irrational fear of public speaking.  Others are uncommonly afraid of international air travel... or germs... or enclosed spaces... But for me, it seems that I have an unnatural fear of plumbing, carpentry, and masonry.  I have no problems at all, speaking in public.  International travel is commonplace in my life.  And while I don't find germs or enclosed spaces to be particularly pleasurable things, I've come to accept them as a part of everyday life.  But when it comes to some kind of home improvement project, I become mildly panicky and obsessive.  I'm filled with a sense of dread and foreboding -- with a dozen "worst case scenarios" buzzing through my mind.  I tend to put  off such projects as long as possible.  And when I finally decide to tackle a specific project, I become freakishly obsessive.  My mind picks away at a thousand possibilities.  I sleep poorly at night.  I feel literally weak in the knees -- and my stomach feels as though it's filled with a thousand crickets.  It's just about pathological.

This is what's kept me from doing much blogging this week (in case you were wondering).  We've been renovating our old half-bathroom (WC):  tearing out the old toilet and floor (all the way down to the foundational support beams), laying a new sub-floor, tiling and grouting a new floor, and reinstalling a new toilet.  And it feels like it's consumed all of my physical, emotional, and intellectual energy outside of the basic necessities of work and family life.

But now I'm on the other side.  And man, does it feel good!  That's what's crazy about these irrational fears:  once I push through them and find out that they are, in fact, quite conquerable, I experience an incredible amount of pride and satisfaction.  Like the world is my pearl.  And even though it's a toilet (for-crying-out-loud!), I feel like a conqueror and king.

Perhaps it's not all that fascinating for anyone else to see pictures of our modest little renovation project (which is still far from being totally completed or really all that pretty to look at, yet) -- still, I feel like I need to share the photographic progression of the project, as a sort of personal little Ebenezer.

I've noticed that God teaches me a lot during these times when I'm forced to push through fear and doubt.  Last spring, this was definitely the case when we remodelled our kitchen.  And the same circumstances seem to come into play in other similar situations as well.  I learn patience, joy, and self-control.  I learn to fight against doubts with faith.  And I learn to stay humble -- realizing that one man's "no problem" is another man's impossible mountain.

These are good things.