My children hate it when I call myself "old." God bless them for it; they're remarkably consistent in their aversion to any indication of my aging. I'll tell them that I need to take a break from living-room wrestle-mania "because I'm old"... Or I'll tell them that I prefer to sit in a chair, as opposed to sitting Indian-style on the floor "because I'm getting to be an old man"... And in these situations, Elliot and Olivia will always faithfully interject: "But Dad! You're not old!"
This evening, I decided to play out the conversation a little bit further, just for the sake of fun. I said, "So how old do you think someone has to be before he becomes old?"
Elliot's forehead wrinkled in thought. "Umm... How old is Opa?" asking about my father's age.
"58, I think," was my answer.
"Well, then I guess you become old when you get to be about 50." That seemed to settle the question satisfactorily for his eight-year-old mind. "And, you know, Dad, you're a young kind of grown-up, like with the teenagers and everything" (I promise I'm not making this up!).
While we were on the subject, I continued probing for other valuable insight into the topic of aging -- and children's perspective on life. "So how old do you have to be when you become a 'grown-up?'"
"Well, you have to be finished with college first..." and that age, I eventually drew out of Elliot, would seem to typically be about 28 years old.
"And what age are you when you get married?" I asked.
"17" was his confident, immediate, answer.
"What age are you when you start having kids, then?" I asked.
"I don't know. Like one or two years after you get married? Or three or four or five."
"But when you're 33, you are..."
"Not old."
Good to know.