I recently went through a one-month beard-growing experiment.  Every man has to try this every so often.  I can't tell you why; I just know that it seems to be an irresistible part of the masculine experience.  So yes, from February 6th to March 8th, I did not shave my beard.

So when I got to the end of my self-imposed trial period, I decided to take the beard off in pieces.  If it took me one month to grow the beard, I figured, I might as well take a whole week to shave it off.  So on Monday, I went from the full beard to the "Chester Arthur" (which could also be called a "Lemmy," I've learned).  On Tuesday, I went to the "Vintage 1977" lamb-chop sideburns and full moustache.  And on Thursday, I went with the "French waiter" look -- sporting short tidy sideburns and a pencil-thin moustache.  Today, I went back to my regular clean-shaven look.

What was most interesting of all, throughout the week, was the reactions of others around me.  Ironically, without my really realizing it, this week turned out to be the week in which our church hosted a city-wide pastors' breakfast (while I was sporting the "Chester Arthur") -- and also the week of our parent-teacher conferences at school (while I was doing the "Vintage 1977").  But throughout the week, my facial hair also proved to be valuable conversation banter and more than a few awkward glances indicating that the other person was thinking "Does he know how ridiculous that actually looks?!?"  Other children at my kids' school were less discreet about their observations -- actually pointing and laughing on occasion!  But I actually kind of enjoyed it.

My children hate it when I call myself "old."  God bless them for it; they're remarkably consistent in their aversion to any indication of my aging.  I'll tell them that I need to take a break from living-room wrestle-mania "because I'm old"...  Or I'll tell them that I prefer to sit in a chair, as opposed to sitting Indian-style on the floor "because I'm getting to be an old man"... And in these situations, Elliot and Olivia will always faithfully interject:  "But Dad!  You're not old!"

This evening, I decided to play out the conversation a little bit further, just for the sake of fun.  I said, "So how old do you think someone has to be before he becomes old?"

Elliot's forehead wrinkled in thought.  "Umm... How old is Opa?" asking about my father's age.

"58, I think," was my answer.

"Well, then I guess you become old when you get to be about 50."  That seemed to settle the question satisfactorily for his eight-year-old mind.  "And, you know, Dad, you're a young kind of grown-up, like with the teenagers and everything"  (I promise I'm not making this up!).

While we were on the subject, I continued probing for other valuable insight into the topic of aging -- and children's perspective on life.  "So how old do you have to be when you become a 'grown-up?'"

"Well, you have to be finished with college first..." and that age, I eventually drew out of Elliot, would seem to typically be about 28 years old.

"And what age are you when you get married?" I asked.

"17" was his confident, immediate, answer.

"What age are you when you start having kids, then?" I asked.

"I don't know.  Like one or two years after you get married?  Or three or four or five."

"But when you're 33, you are..."

"Not old."

Good to know.

It's strange, but I've had a couple of people initiate conversation me in the last month -- pretty much out of the blue -- to talk about the meaning of my last name.  "Hey, I just learned what your last name means," the conversation goes.  "Do you know what your last name means?" I have a few ideas of what my last name means, but having had this conversation numerous times throughout the course of my life, I tell them that it depends.

According to Wikipedia, the word "Asp is the modern Anglicization of the word aspis, which in antiquity referred to any one of several venomous snake species found in the Nile region.  It is believed that the aspis referred to in Egyptian mythology is the modern Egyptian cobra."  This is what most people are getting at, when they say that they've discovered the "secret" meaning of my last name.  An Asp is a kind of snake.  "Which means I better watch out for you!  Har, har, har..." is the standard follow-up joke.  The deadly snake -- perhaps most famous for being the instrument of Queen Cleopatra's suicide -- has also given rise to modern usages of the name "Asp" for (among other things) a type of hand-gun and for the name of (the little orphan) Annie's Chinese chauffeur / body-guard.

As far as I've figured out, however, my last name is actually more closely linked to the Aspen tree than to the Aspis snake.  At least when it comes to Swedish and Norwegian names (there's some confusion about which side of the Scandinavian peninsula our ancestors -- and indeed all people with the surname Asp -- came from), the surname Asp generally indicates "dweller by the aspen trees."  It's a name derived from geography -- from a landmark.  And since this is a lot more peaceful and pleasant and benign than the idea of being named after a deadly snake, this is usually the definition that I typically embrace.

It really goes further than etymology, though, doesn't it?  Ultimately, the public perception of any given name comes down to random word association.  And that's where I've been saddled with a name that sounds unfortunately similar to the English word "ass."  Yes, there are other near-homonyms as well -- "ask" and "as," for instance.  But those sound-alikes are not nearly as fun for experimentation among school-aged children.  Thus through the years, I've picked up a lot of creative permutations of the name Asp, including (but by no means limited to) the following:

• Kick-Asp
• Kiss-Asp
• Jack-Asp
• Dumb-Asp
• Pain-in-the-Asp
• Asp-hole
• Smart Asp
• Hairy Asp
• Rudy-poo candy-Asp (i.e. an adjective, describing anything exceptionally wimpy)
• Big-Asp (i.e. an adjective describing anything exceptionally large)

One of the classic jokes along these lines goes with the naming of children, given the fact that Harry, Jack, and Candy are occasionally used as personal names (and how cruel it would be for me, as a parent, to give one of these names to a child born into our family name!).  But suffice to say:  I've heard these variations on my last name for so long that it's even gotten to the point where I can genuinely appreciate it if anyone comes up with a new one!  It's a whole lot more fun to play along and make light of the situation than it is to become hurt or offended anytime someone pulls one of these word associations out.  So I'm curious:  can any of you think of any other good ones?  I'll give bonus points to anyone who comes up with something original...

And in the meantime, I'll just go on with being an Asp.

I'm curious if anyone out there might have some advice for me.  For my birthday, I was given a gift allowing me to download an audio book from a website called Audible.  I'm super-excited to give this a try -- but to be honest, I don't have any real experience with audio books.

So I'm wondering:  Are there any special considerations for choosing an audio book?  Are there any particular authors out there who are especially enjoyable by audio?  In short:  Do you have any recommendations for how I should go about my first real audio book experience?

I'd appreciate any and all input that you might have for me.

Tomorrow is my first opportunity to participate in Dutch democracy.  I'm not sure if it's because I've now been officially registered in the country for a certain number of years now, or if it's because I'm now a property owner, or what -- but I'm going to vote for the municipal elections tomorrow.

The only prolem is that I haven't figured out exactly how I'm going to vote.

I've tried a couple of the different on-line "stemwijzer" (voting test) sites, plus I've read a number of the printed materials put out by the government and by the parties themselves.  But all this has done is help me to decide how not to use my vote.  That is, I'm pretty sure that I will not be casting my vote for the CDA, who has chosen to make the main thrust of their Amsterdam campaign a "Big Brother" like camera system to capture any wrong-doing that might happen throughout the city... And I can't really see myself voting for the Party of the Animals (making animal rights the primary issue) or the nationalistic PVV (a sort of anti-immigration party, like the 21st Century Dutch version of the 19th Centry American "Know Nothing" party)... But who should I vote for?

I'd be very open, if anyone had any advice they wanted to pass along to me.

For me, I'm voting primarily as (1) a follower of Jesus, (2) an immigrant, and (3) someone who naturally tends to prefer a less invasive form of government (i.e. someone who could tell the leerplichtambtenaar to relax a little bit).  But are there really any parties who tend to combine these issues?  Open to religious freedom, and even cooperation between the church and the government... But also more liberal in its views on immigration and immigrants' rights... While still entrusting power to the people, more than to the bureaucracy???  Do these terms ring any bells, for those of you who might be more familiar with the Dutch political system?

I've got some ideas for how I might use my vote, if all else fails.  I'm not going into things totally ignorant.  But if there are any last-minute pieces of advice that could be thrown my way, I would certainly appreciate it.

Today marks the beginning of the third month of my Proverbs 365 project.  It's going stronger than ever, and I find that I'm really enjoying this good, long soak in the wisdom of Proverbs.  Just like I did last month, I thought it might be interesting to highlight three of my personal favorites from the past month of the project.

My favorite Proverbs-related story from the last month would have to be P2306 - Coffee Cake Conflict.  In the post, I share a personal anecdote from my university years which helps to illustrate Proverbs 23:6-8:  "Do not eat the food of a stingy man, do not crave his delicacies; for he is the kind of man who is always thinking about the cost.  'Eat and drink,' he says to you, but his heart is not with you.  You will vomit up the little you have eaten and will have wasted your compliments." You really have to read the post to get the full effect of my reflections on the subject -- but suffice to say the story involves young bachelors learning to run their own household, eating nothing but coffee cake for dinner, and gift presented to a 20-year-old with a note saying, "Happy Birthday, you bitter old man." Follow the link above for the whole story.

Secondly, one of the greatest personal challenges that I experienced in the month of February came from reading Proverbs 26:11, which prompted my recollections entitled P2611 - Vomitous Victuals.  The title of the post is a direct reference to the Proverb itself, found in chapter 26, verse 11:  "As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly." As I meditated on this verse, I came to realize how I can foolishly respond to feelings of loneliness by sitting at the computer, obsessively hitting the Send/Receive button on my e-mail reader -- hoping for some sort of pathetic companionship from a glowing computer screen.  When the e-mails don't come, I get sad.  When I don't get many comments on my blog(s), I get sad.  But I keep going in a foolish cycle of loneliness.  "It's the same story... when I check my Facebook, LinkedIn, Flickr, and YouTube pages.  I scramble around the internet like a squirrel, hunting for nuts that just aren't there... " If you can relate to these feelings at all, I would definitely recommend following the link and taking a look at the post for yourself.

Thirdly, I think one of the verses which stuck with me the most from February was Proverbs 3:3-4:  "Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.  Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man." You can read my thoughts on this Proverbs at P334 - Love and Faithfulness.  Honestly, I'm not sure if my personal reflections in this post are really all that poignant -- but the Proverb itself is powerful enough to prompt us to question ourselves:  "So how do we get back on track with these core qualities of Love and Faithfulness?  How do we make these our calling card?  The necklace around our necks?  The tattoo written across our chests?" I attempt to start answering some of these questions in my post, and I would love to hear any other dialogue that others might want to contribute as well.

For a more comprehensive listing of the February's content, here are the titles of all 28 entries, along with direct links to the rest of the contact:

• P122 - Stuck on Simplicity
• P206 - The Key to Understanding the Proverbs
• P334 - Love and Faithfulness
• P414 - Traffic Advice
• P506 - Checking for Blind Spots
• P610 - How to Avoid a Hold-Up
• P702 - Apple of Your Eye
• P809 - Atheist Buses
• P903 - Lady Wisdom and Her Staff Team
• P1008 - California Ryan
• P1124 - The Wedding Card Dilemma
• P1216 - Wat Vervelend
• P1308 - Mo' Money Mo' Problems
• P1410 - Considering Condolences and Congratulations
• P1504 - Green Tree
• P1618 - The Prognostication Possibilities of Pride
• P1714 - Water Management is Serious Business
• P1803 - Downward Spiral
• P1919 - The Predicaments of Hot-Headedness
• P2029 - Gray Area
• P2109 - A Case for Separation
• P2204 - NHL vs. NBA
• P2306 - Coffee Cake Conflict
• P2410 - Feats of Strength
• P2515 - Bones Yes, But What About Bureaucratic Red Tape?
• P2611 - Vomitous Victuals
• P2711 - Prudence Not Panic
• P2809 - Love Triangles

And that's just February!  March promises to be another great month, so check it out for yourself at http://proverbs365.ericasp.com.