When we first started our church in Amsterdam, and people would ask us to describe our “church,” we would often describe our ministry space.  “It’s kind of like a café.”  Comfortable couches, café tables and chairs, careful consideration for lighting and ambiance.  Or we’d describe our weekly worship gatherings.  “It’s kind of like a concert.”  Some music, some spiritual story-telling, just sit back and enjoy the show.  People were intrigued by these explanations.  They would remark that they’d never heard of a church like that before, and that they might like to come and visit sometime.  And sometimes they would come.  Often, they’d like it.  They’d keep coming back, and over time our church grew to the point where people were overflowing into side rooms and staircases, coming to enjoy the “café church,” the “concert church.”

As much as we enjoyed some of the strengths of the “café church,” with time we’ve also come to realize some of the weaknesses associated with it as well.  And close to the top of that list of weaknesses, one of the most obvious results of a “café church” is a congregation of “customers” or “consumers.”  The café is the place where you go to sit with friends, soak up the gezelligheid, and order food and beverages, prepared by a cook in the back room and served directly to your table by a waitress.  If you’re treated well, you keep coming back, tipping the waitress -- maybe even recommending the place to your friends.  But if you’re not treated well (maybe simply because you came during a time when the place was under-staffed), you’ll scoff and find another café.  Because that’s the way it works.  It's the same thing in the concert business.  If you put on a good show, you sell lots of records and merchandise and tickets for future shows.  But if you don’t deliver a good show (maybe simply because the lead singer had a head cold), you’ll scoff and spend your entertainment euros (or dollars) elsewhere.

Do you see how problems could develop when the café or concert model is applied to establishing a church?

How weird would it be if the cook comes out and asks the customer if they might be willing to step back into the kitchen and help prepare the refreshments for the other customers?  Imagine the awkwardness if the waitress reveals that she’d really like you to help with serving the other customers?  Can you imagine the customers having their commitment
implicitly questioned when they stop coming around (or come around
less)?  It’s no wonder that a “café church” like ours has had a hard time getting people to help with “serving” or volunteering to help with various ministry responsibilities like making the coffee at the beginning of a church function, keeping kids occupied during worship gatherings, and cleaning up afterwards!  Yes, of course everyone realizes that coffee and childcare and cleanliness are nice amenities within a church context -- not to mention good music and good messages -- but when the service economy model is applied to Christian community, th e situation can be very challenging if not downright counter-productive.

Today, we’re re-envisioning our understanding of what the church is and how we operate.  These days, we like to think of our church community more as a “family” or a “home.”  Yes, we still welcome others into our “living room" or "dining room,” but they are as guests in our home, not as customers within our franchise location. We do our best to keep the place tidy and welcoming -- perhaps needing to explain unique traditions in our family.  But we don't rearrange all the furniture and put up false pretenses about who we are (dysfunctional families do this, of course, but we strive to maintain a healthy home environment!).  We're a family, for better or for worse.  Those who regularly sit at our table and share meals with us typically help with preparing the meals, clearing the table, washing the dishes; this is just part of being a family.  Even when we're out and about -- around the city, at work, in school, or wherever -- we're still a family.  But we also like to spend time together, hearing stories about what's happening in each others' lives and simply enjoying each others' company.  As our children grow up and become mature, we bless them and release them to start their own families (not franchises).  We keep in touch and celebrate special occasions together, but we do not practice "quality control."  We are a family, and we trust in God's ability to develop successive (and overlapping) generations.

This "family church" concept also has its strengths and weaknesses.  I'm sure of that.  But I'm content forour church to experience those as we go.  To me, the distinction between a café and a home is a helpful one.  How do I plan for family events?  How should I treat a guest in my home?  Do I talk to the person who prepares the meal as if he or she is the Maître d’ or the Mom?  It's a big difference.  Don't you think?