It's one of those classic cultural differences that I'll probably never completely understand.  Dutch kids ride around on bicycles every day in a highly-regulated traffic environment -- but hardly any of the little blond heads are helmeted (which would be paramount to child-abuse in the USA).  Frankly it seems that nobody in society gives it a second thought.  But then when it comes to swimming lessons -- there's a strong, not-so-implicit pressure put on parents to put their kids through expensive and time-consuming swimming lessons so they can earn their swim diploma, "in case the little tyke falls into one of the many canals around here."  Seriously.  I've heard this line of reasoning from multiple sources -- and it's quite clear that one of the requirements for obtaining one's "swimming diploma" (not joking!) is jumping into the pool fully-clothed, and going through the motions to properly rescue oneself in case such a calamity should ever happen (though I've yet to witness the first such incident here in Amsterdam).  So clearly, there is a cultural value expressed here:  Preparing for life-threatening bicycle accident = not so important / Preparing for life-threatening fall into the canal = extremely important.

We've made our peace with the bicycle / helmet thing (our kids don't wear helmets if they are riding in the nearly-impossible-to-tip bakfiets; but they do wear helmets if they ride on the back of my or Marci's two-wheeled bikes or if they're biking on their own).   But we're still trying to figure out what to do with the swimming lessons thing.

I have absolutely no problems with teaching my kids to learn how to swim.  That's a part of growing up, I realize.  But you see, the swimming pools in Amsterdam have tapped into the societal parental angst about potential drownings -- and they've developed a highly-lucrative business selling these lessons designed to help children earn these coveted "swimming diplomas."  The pools charge entry fees (just for the use of the pool), plus lesson-fees (for the instruction), plus other miscellaneous charges.  And there's even a market in the city for greetings cards designed to congratulate a child upon the receipt of their "swimming diploma" (available in almost any gift shop -- again, totally not joking).  Elliot and Olivia were enrolled in a class at our local pool for a few months last spring, but the progression of the class was so slow that we figured out they were on a trajectory to get their "swimming diplomas" after about two or two-and-a-half years of weekly lessons.  Marci and I calculated the economic implications of this fact and realized that it would cost somewhere between €600 and €700 ($875 to $1000 U.S. Dollars) per kid, to get obtain these precious "swimming diplomas!"  Suffice to say, we pulled them out of the lessons... And we haven't gotten back to re-enrolling them yet.  We've also done some research on "sprint-courses" (where you can get more personalized attention, over a shorter, more intense period of instruction) and private lessons -- but the long and the short of it is that it doesn't seem like it will be possible to get a "swimming diploma" without at least €600 being paid out for the privilege.

That seems ridiculous to me!  I resist such an idea to the very core of my being.

But here's where the whole immigrant-parent angst kicks in, you see.  I realize that we've challenged our children's social status enough by simply choosing to live as U.S. citizens in the Kingdom of the Netherlands.  We eat funny foods, talk with funny accents, celebrate funny holidays (at least this is the way we imagine that we are perceived by other families at our kids' school, for instance)... so what does it do to our kids' social standing to withhold them from this "swimming diploma:" this Holy Grail of Dutch elementary-school safety???  Am I committing social homocide by not having my children on the fast track to get their swimming diplomas???  But then again, what if I'm just misreading the cultural cues (it's certainly happened before)?  Could it be that 50 percent of Dutch kids opt out of swimming lessons these days, too???  Or are there situations where it really will be awkward for Elliot or Olivia if they don't have that "swim diploma" at Marije's swim-birthday-bash?  This is my dilemma...

Can anyone help me to sort out the facts from the fears?  Any insight or personal anecdotes (especially from my Dutch friends) would be greatly appreciated...