This weekend, I'm taking part in my first full European (Dutch / German) wedding.  I've been to bits and pieces of other weddings here in the Netherlands, but this is the first time that it involves someone sufficiently close to me -- my dear friend and spiritual brother, Marco -- that I've gotten to share in all the fun and adventures from beginning to end.

It's interesting:  many of the elements of a European wedding overlap with those of an American wedding.  Of course, there are pieces of the wedding which are totally different.  And then even those that are sort of similar have intriguing differences as well.  From what I can gather, I'd say that the main parts of a European wedding are (1) the Bachelor Party, (2) the Civil Ceremony, (3) the Family Dinner Reception, (4) the Church Ceremony, and (5) the After-Party.  And, for the sake of comparison, I'd say that an American wedding typically includes (1) the Bachelor Party, (2) the Rehearsal Dinner, (3) the Church Wedding Ceremony, and (4) the Dinner Reception / Party.

Last Saturday, I got to join in Marco's Bachelor Party.  The concept for a European Bachelor Party is similar to that of an American Bachelor Party -- have fun with "just the guys" in the last week or so leading up to the wedding -- but there are also a number of interesting differences.  For one thing, the group of people involved seems to be smaller than many of the other bachelor parties that I've seen in America.  For an American wedding, just about every guy that has any kind of personal connection with the groom is invited -- often resulting in a group of two or three dozen guys.  But for a European wedding, it's only a very select group that's invited to the Bachelor Party; we were with a group of just nine for Marco's party, and it was interesting to note that not every person from among Marco's roommates or or Marco's family or Marco's church friends or Marco's school friends was invited.  Just a small hand-picked group (and no one seems to really get offended by this, like they might in the USA).  And the other significant difference with a European bachelor party is the costume.  Almost always, the groom is expected to wear some ridiculous outfit and prance around the city looking like a fool.  In Marco's case, we were pretty easy on him -- just giving him a white T-shirt that said "Ich bin ein Berliner" (since the bride is from Germany) with a picture of a Berliner-style donut on the back.  But other than the size / make-up of the group and the costume, I'd say that European bachelor parties are pretty similar to American bachelor parties.

Yesterday, then, was the day of the Civil Ceremony.

According to Dutch law, a couple must first be married at City Hall -- and then, only after the requirements of the law have been fully met, may they have a church ceremony (or not).  I was informed recently, as officiant of the church ceremony, that I am legally liable if this requirement of the law is not met (punishable by a hefty fine)!  So, to say the least, I'm glad they decided to do the Civil Ceremony ahead of time. :-)

I guess that the Civil Ceremony is actually not all that dissimilar to the process of picking up a marriage license at the county courthouse in the USA.  Both of the people getting married have to show up, present legal identification to allow the government to make sure that they're both citizens in good standing who are not already lawfully married, and then go on record as a couple.  The difference is that it's actually accompanied by something of a ceremony -- performed by an anonymous justice-of-the-peace -- and a intimate gathering of friends and family is also typically brought along for the fun (Marco's parents, Claudia's parents, and a small handful of other friends -- a total of about a dozen people).

When everyone is gathered, they're ushered into a small court-room.  There are some standard words of welcome, verification of personal information, and then a brief set of vows that are exchanged, followed by the signing of the legal documents.

Both bride and groom must sign -- along with two witnesses (usually the couple's closest friends -- about as close as Europeans get to the American concepts of bridesmaids and groomsmen).

After the documents are all signed and in order, they are given the blessing of the government and considered lawfully married (though most Christian couples consider the day of their Church Ceremony -- when they take their vows before God and all their friends and family, with the big white dress and the church and music and everything -- to be the official start of their married life together).

After the Civil Ceremony, we took some pictures (I was actually asked to serve as something of an event photographer!), and then we went to the apartment where Marco and Claudia will live to share some refreshments and conversation.

Tomorrow, then, we get to experience the the Family Dinner Reception, the Church Ceremony, and the After-Party -- which seem like they might be sort of like the American Rehearsal Dinner (without any kind of formal rehearsal), the Church Ceremony (which, I can say, is almost exactly like American Church Ceremonies), and the Reception (though it seems like it may have some interesting differences).

Of course, I've had some interesting personal reflections throughout this process as well, seeing one of my closest friends walk through this experience.  But for now, I thought it would just be interesting to share more of the sociological / anthropological / cultural observations (along with some pictures, of course!).  If you'd like to see any more of my pictures of yesterday's Civil Ceremony, by the way, you can go to the Zolder50 Pictures section.