Today, on the 30th of November, my brother Jay celebrates his 30th birthday.  Somehow, it's almost weirder to have my younger brother turning 30 than it was for me to turn 30 myself... I guess the accelerating passage of time just really gets to you, in situations like this -- like a skydiver who may seem to be floating more than falling in the immediate moments after jumping out of the airplane, but then as the landscape rushes ever closer, and as one passes the level of mountains in the distance, and drops through flocks of birds flying in formation, the urge to pull the rip cord on the parachute gets stronger and stronger... though we still try to hang on and enjoy the ride for as long as possible.

But I digress.  This post is about Jay.  My beloved best-friend/brother.

If ever there was a "Joy of November," Jay would certainly be it.   His first name means "lively and quick" -- and it's a very appropriate moniker.  Whereas I've always been the typical first-born -- careful, reasoned, responsible, eager-to-please... Jay has always been the yin to my yang (the classic second-born):  adventurous, ambitious, unafraid, social, and independent.  I've often envied his unique personality and wished that I could be a bit more like him (and ironically, his feelings toward me have been reciprocal, if perhaps also inverse)... But as Jay and I have gotten older, we've had these moments of realization where we've understood just how much time we've spent envying each other instead of simply admiring each other!

And when I really break it down, I realize that I truly have a lot to admire in my "little" brother.

I've always admired Jay's ability to command an audience, to stick up for what he believes in, to fearlessly lead.  I learned a lot from him, along the way -- and the lessons have continued over the last decade of continental drift (moving toward different callings, different cities, different women, and -- yes -- even different actual continents).  Over the years, I’m glad to say that I’ve learned some degree of confidence:  as a man, as a father, as a church leader.  I can lead (though, ironically, I still prefer to play support roles).  I can entertain a crowd (though, inevitably, I’m still naturally introverted).  I can even catch myself being a “show-off” at times.  In a lot of ways, I suppose I’ve become more like Jay (or at least the icon I've subconsciously made of him) -- and I definitely consider this to be progress in my life...

Even so, I’ve still got a lot to learn.  I’m still a weak person in many ways.  And yes, Jay has taught me a lot in this regard as well.  I still don't understand how God could have made someone so proud and yet so humble as my brother Jay.  When I think of Jay, I think of a true pilgrim, a warrior, a sojourner -- a bit like the Don Quixote figure he's always admired.  He has aspirations (along with a great deal of actual potential) for greatness... and yet he has tremendous transparency and a willingness to share his heart which is so true, and vulnerable, and sincere.  I know without a doubt that this is a work which God has done in Jay's life... but it is a beautiful work indeed.

These days, I'd have to say that Jay and I are still trying to figure on the brotherhood-from-two-sides-of-the-Atlantic thing.  We don't get to connect nearly as often as we would like.  And yet, it's amazing to see the ways that our lives have maintained parallel headings -- even in completely unconscious ways.  You can see it in the little things -- like the way that we've both acquired a taste for coffee (which is a significant development among we Asp men, who were brought up listening to our father's classic reply to someone asking if he drank coffee:  “I don’t even drink whiskey”)... Like the way that we can still get fired up about a good basketball game... And like the way we enjoy sampling different products and savoring the absolute bests of cinnamon rolls and ciders and songs... But it's in the bigger things, too:  like raising families... Like pursuing artistic passions (him in painting and me in writing)... Like church planting... Like growing into maturity -- even now, into our <gulp> thirties.

These days, when I talk to Jay, he still sounds like Jay -- perhaps just a bit older and wiser.  But really, this is the best that any of us can hope for.  I love my brother dearly, and I'm so grateful for the role that he's played in my life throughout the years.

Here's to the next 30, Bird.  Happy Birthday!  And thanks for making November such a meaningful month...