Today is the concluding day of the Great Commission Europe annual Pastors Summit.  This year was specifically designated to allow for discussion of issues relating to marriage and ministry, so both husbands and wives have traveled in from as far north as the Netherlands, as far south as Italy, as far east as Ukraine, and as far west as Spain -- all converging in a small town just outside of Krakow, Poland.

In addition to teachings related to marriage, we also spent time praying for our churches and the Continent in general (this is one of the most revered traditions of the pastors summit).  Systematically, we pray church by church, country by country -- for several hours in the afternoon.  It's actually rather exhausting work... but definitely worthwhile.  We all seem to view this as a significant part of our work in Europe.

Then, for the balance of the time, we tend to focus on strategic discussion relating to the "business" (administration, organization, and communication) of Great Commission Europe... This part is -- if I'm being perfectly honest here -- quite challenging for me.  It takes me a lot of energy to engage in these strategic discussions.  A lot of energy, and a lot of coffee.

In the end, I've concluded that I have Conference Fatigue Syndrome.  Its symptoms do not become evident at every kind of conference -- but I definitely seem to be more susceptible at conferences relating to church planting, pastoring churches, and leadership in general.  Ironically, this personal predisposition to Conference Fatigue Syndrome (CoFaS) seems to be particularly rare among those in my line of work (pastor/missionary) -- but it is nevertheless a condition which I've learned that I must deal with as something of an occupational hazard.

The symptoms of CoFaS include irritability (occasionally building toward cynicism), fatigue (the longer the conference, the greater the fatigue), headaches,  and nausea at the sight of flip charts, strategic diagrams, or PowerPoint presentations (and/or at the mention of words like "vision statement" or "strategic planning").  The long-term diagnosis for sufferers of CoFaS is generally optimistic, though recurrence is common upon exposure to external stimuli such as conferences, seminars, and preparatory e-mails.

In examining my own struggles with CoFaS, I think a lot of it may have to do with my personal tendencies toward introversion (being energized more by solitude, reading, writing, etc. -- as opposed to long hours of conversation, group dynamics, and such)... But I also think it has a lot to with spiritual gifting.  Many pastors, missionaries, church-planters, and leaders are passionate about things like mission, vision, and values.  I am not (as unspiritual as that may sound, even to my own ears).  I much prefer day-to-day "battling in the trenches," advancing trench-to-trench, tree-to-tree, hedgerow-to-hedgerow, village-to-village (please forgive me for all the WW2 terminology; I'm currently reading through Ambrose's history of D-Day).  I fully value and believe in the need for greater oversight, strategizing, and planning -- like what the regimental, divisional, and operational leadership provides in war... But I, for one, am happy when I can let others play that role.  Now, I realize that my roles in church leadership sometimes require me to "wear hats" that are not the most comfortable on my head -- but all that just goes to explain why I might be so susceptible to Conference Fatigue Syndrome.

I'm not complaining (well, OK -- maybe I am complaining a little bit).  I'm just trying to deal with the realities of my life.  But at least I get to do it in a beautiful location, with my beautiful wife and good friends alongside me.  And that, though perhaps not a cure for CoFaS, is at least a pretty good treatment in the midst of it.