[This is part seven of a series on Sexuality and Spirituality:  bypassing Christian rhetoric and examining the interaction between sexuality and spirituality with candor, honesty, and directness.  Tough questions are encouraged, controversy is invited, and the submission of differing opinions is welcomed -- so please feel free to comment as often as you'd like.]

Finally, with this post I am closing out my series on Sexuality and Spirituality.  Perhaps you've enjoyed it... perhaps you've hated it... Perhaps you've been given some new perspectives on these issues... perhaps you feel that I've done nothing but recycle well-worn arguments that have plagued our society for decades... Perhaps you've been anxiously anticipating each of the seven posts along the way... perhaps you're glad that this is the last one!  In any event, it seems about time to draw my thoughts to a close and move on.

I started with trying to outline the general conundrum in the presumed paradox of "Christian sexuality" and establishing that I didn't want to just spout a bunch of tired old script (whether I've succeeded in doing this, though, I don't know).  I then tried to develop my thoughts over the next two posts, seeking to avoid the extremes of denial / repression and obsession / idolatry.  Following this (admittedly difficult) balancing act, I tried to clearly state my convictions, drawn from the Bible, on the matter of sexuality and spirituality in today's complicated moral landscape.  And over the two most recent episodes in this series, I particularly focused on the issue of homosexuality and what I would understand to be a biblical perspective on this cultural phenomenon (to the best of my ability).  There've been some great comments and rich dialogue along the way (thanks to all who have participated)...

Now we just have to deal with the question:  "So what?"

It's hard to believe that anyone could come away from examining an issue like this with a simple sense of "Ah, yes; that's settled -- glad to see that everything's been taken care of."  Regardless of how convincing my arguments may have been, we're still left with the fact that each one of us is left in a daily struggle to define and reconcile our sexuality and spirituality.  Indeed, this struggle persists in my own life!  I can imagine that some people must be tempted to think, "Hmph!  Easy for him to say, with his beautiful wife and those distant memories of the single life!"  And I desperately hope that I haven't positioned myself as someone with all of the answers... because I think the first answer to the question of "So what?" is to embrace the fact that we are all fellow strugglers.

I have a hard time with anyone who jumps into the excommunication express lane when sexual sin is involved.  It's truly sad how quick people are to point fingers and condemn "sinners" who are struggling with some element of their sexuality.  Single mothers, pornography addicts, unmarried couples who are living together, members of the gay community, people who have slipped up in their marriages... unfortunately, the church is not always a very welcoming place for such "imperfect" people.  Such selective snobbery seems to grossly contradict the message of the Bible to "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love" and to "Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace" (Ephesians 4:2-3).  The fact of the matter is that we are all "sinners" and "imperfect" people.  The Bible makes it clear that those who get caught up in subtle pride are just as guilty before God as those who get caught up in gay orgies.  It sounds crazy, but it's true.  We're all caught up in a lifetime struggle between our spirit and our flesh.  Whenever we are tempted to think about shaming someone for their struggle with sexual sin, we would do well to remember the way that Jesus handled a similar situation in his day.

And for the record -- lest anyone be tempted to think otherwise -- let me be the first to say that I'm caught up in the struggle just like everyone else.  Marriage does not remove temptation for sexual sin (sorry to burst that bubble, if you're hanging your hopes on that).  And even where it may help to reduce tensions and struggles in some areas -- it can just as asily add tensions and struggles in other areas.  We're all fellow strugglers, trying to figure this out together... which brings me to my second suggestion in the category of "So what?" -- namely, that we've got to be a family for each other as we go through our struggles.

This is one of the beautiful things about the Church (or at least one of the potentially beautiful things about the Church).  We're designed to be a family: a collection of brothers and sisters, laughing together, crying together, eating together, learning together, worshiping together, serving together -- doing life together.  And so, we can be there for each other and support each other in our struggles.  Now, as Christians we certainly need to get better at opening up and being honest about our lives -- shining light into the deep, dark corners of our existence (which often includes our sexuality)... but the more we can do this, the more healing we will experience.  Furthermore, because our sexuality is often so closely connected to our sense of belonging and acceptance, a tight sense of Christian community can be a powerful antidote to temptations in the areas of sexual sin.  In Zolder50, home groups and life groups are designed to fill these family functions within the church; but whatever its form, unconditional love -- experienced from God and from the family of believers (even in the midst of struggle and failure) -- is essential to a healthy sense of sexuality and spirituality.

Even so -- and I think this is where we need to draw the line, as well as our third "So what?" principle -- even while an understanding of the struggle and a sense of unconditional love are essential, we must stop short of celebrating a sinful lifestyle.  In our attempts to love the strugglers among us, we need to be careful not to endorse perversion.  One of the passages that I quoted above goes on to clearly state that we should, "no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more.  You, however, did not come to know Christ that way. Surely you heard of him and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness (Ephesians 4:17-24).  And Jesus himself, just after the previously alluded episode of putting a woman's persecutors to shame, goes on to clearly challenge the sinful woman to "Go now and leave your life of sin."

Somone recently commented to me that I'm fighting an uphill battle with our culture if I'm trying to maintain the black-and-white distinction between "full-fledged sexuality within marriage" -- or --  "absolutely no sex outside of marriage"... and yet, I can't really draw any other conclusions from my study of the Bible.  I'm not going to deny the fact that it's hard for people to renounce the god of their culture -- including the god of our Western culture -- but this is exactly what we must do, even though we might face the persecution of public opinion in the process.

When the people of Communist countries renounce the god of their culture -- namely, the government -- in favor of the true God of the Bible, we cheer them on.  Even in the eyes of the secular West, these people who are willing to go against the flow are appreciated.  We cast them as heroes, freedom fighters, and martyrs... When the people of Muslim countries renounce the god of their culture -- namely, Allah -- in favor of the true God of the Bible, we cheer them on.  Perhaps it's not quite as politically-correct to pit Islam against the other major faith systems of the world.  But again, even in the eyes of the secular West, there is an implicit affirmation and appreciation of those willing to diffuse dogma and swim upstream against their culture.  We cast them as free-thinkers, true seekers, and martyrs... So why should it be any different for people in the West who renounce the god of our culture -- namely, love, sex, and romance -- in favor of the true God of the Bible?

I know that it's not that easy.  I know that I don't have all the answers.  But that's my best attempt to figure things out from my vantage point.  Let me know if you've got any other thoughts or questions -- and then let's get on with discussion of other things in this space...