[This is part five of a series on Sexuality and Spirituality:  bypassing Christian rhetoric and examining the interaction between sexuality and spirituality with candor, honesty, and directness.  Tough questions are encouraged, controversy is invited, and the submission of differing opinions is welcomed -- so please feel free to comment as often as you'd like.]

He confides cautiously.  And I listen carefully.  Because he is a dear friend.  Still, it's hard for me to hear what he's saying.  No doubt it's hard for him to say what he's saying.  It's hard because we both realize that the road ahead is fraught with peril and pain.

He's telling me that he's gay.  And though I have no doubt that he's thought it through, extensively -- I can't help but notice that his tone (even now, in our conversation) is an unusual paradox of pride and shame, determination and insecurity, hope and despair, relief and dread... Of course, I suppose this is the way it goes for any of us -- shining the floodlights into the dark corners of our consciousness, turning closets into showrooms.  But this particular pronouncement seems to rest upon a thousand tentativities relating to the underlying questions and assumptions of our lives... Consequently, I can't completely tell if he's making a statement or asking a question.  I suppose he may not be able to determine this either -- but I have to at least give him credit for doing the best he can with the information he has at his disposal.

He's telling me that he's gay.  And I can't say that I'm completely surprised.  I've never known him to have a girlfriend.  He fits many of the pop culture stereotypes:  snappy dresser, theater-lover, physically demonstrative, emotionally expressive... Ever since he was a little boy, he says, he's felt different from other boys -- which is, apparently, another sign that he's gay...

Except here's where I really start to wonder:  Is he really all that different?  Are his experiences of alienation and identity-quest all that unique?  Or is the whole world turning itself inside out with these questions?  I wonder...

 *     *     *     *     *

A significant part of my job over the last decade has been simply building relationships -- digging deep into the hearts and minds of young men desiring to know God and be used by Him in the world.  So over the years, as I've built a foundation of trust and respect with young men from all walks of life -- from both sides of the Atlantic Ocean -- as I've built into their lives and learned what makes them tick... I've been astonished to discover just how widespread are the doubts that today's young men have about their sexuality.  The "conversation" narrative above is actually a composite of several different conversations that I've had over the last several years.  Actually multiple conversations with numerous men.  Seriously, I would guess that approximately half of the men that I talk with have had serious doubts about their sexuality at one time or another.  Not that they've all experimented or experienced any sort of actual homosexual relationship with another man.  But they've certainly thought about it.  Wondered about it.  And yes, sometimes even given it a try...

Yet I can't even imagine the spokesman of the International Lesbian and Gay Association daring to theorize that half the population in the world today is biologically programmed for homosexual behavior.  It flies in the face of historical precedent.  It flies in the face of reproductive science.  It flies in the face of the embarrassingly obvious functional designs for the anatomical structures that define men and women!  And though I realize that even the gay community itself is divided about the underlying causes for homosexual behavior, I still have to wonder what exactly it means that the social trends relating to homosexuality have come as far as they have in the last few decades.

Indeed, the rise in the practice and acceptance of homosexuality is an intriguing sociological trend.  I must confess that I'm not extremely well-read on the scientific literature... But I've done a lot of thinking about the trends on my own, and I've developed some of my own theories for this relatively recent rise in favorable public opinion toward homosexual behavior.  And if you ask me, I think that the current state of sexuality in the West can be traced back to the Second World War ("it's all the fault of them dang Nazis!").  It sounds crazy, doesn't it?  But think about this:  Couldn't it be that the dramatic heroism and massive casualties of 1930s and early 1940s led to the internal traumatization, social imbalance, and reevaluation of masculinity in the late 1940s and 1950s... which in turn led to a sort of modern machoism and an abuse of masculinity... which in turn led to an oppressed and mishandled generation of women and children... which in turn led to the "Women's Liberation" movement of the late 1960s and early 1970s... which in turn led to a loss of identity for the upcoming generation of men... which in turn led to the rise in masculine promiscuity as the mark of machoism and manhood in the 1970s... which in turn led to women eventually following suit, combatting the double-standard of acceptable sexual behavior... which in turn led to the over-sexed and under-connected culture of the 1980s... which in turn led to a generation of people repulsed by the after-effects of the sexual revolution and uninterested in the hollow promises of "free love"... which in turn led to the children of the 1990s seeking real relationships and belonging instead... which in turn led to an exploration of alternative forms of relational expression... which in turn led to the embrace of homosexuality and a general "Accept Me" culture... which, of course, brings us to where we are today.

Ultimately, in providing the above analysis, I'm insinuating is that homosexuality is not the result of healthy biological development -- nor is it a healthy sociological development.  In fact, I believe that our culture's move toward acceptance of homosexuality is the result of a pendulant pattern of brokenness.  Even so, these issues are very difficult to discuss on the level of principle and Biblical precedent.

The truth of the matter is that there is no verse in the Bible that directly states that "homosexuality is a sin."  Furthermore, I believe that the Bible quite clearly states that some people are really just not designed to be attracted to the opposite sex...

But now that I've stirred things up a little bit, I'll let them stew for awhile... and I'll save my response to these issues for part six of this series.