[This is part four of a series on Sexuality and Spirituality:  bypassing Christian rhetoric and examining the interaction between sexuality and spirituality with candor, honesty, and directness.  Tough questions are encouraged, controversy is invited, and the submission of differing opinions is welcomed -- so please feel free to comment as often as you'd like.]

So what exactly is God’s plan for sexuality?

This is the real question, isn't it?  I mean, we can be easily distracted and drawn down rabbit trails -- debating the various possibilities for what God's plan does not include.  And it seems to me that Christians spend a lot of their time and energy coming at this subject from the negative perspective.  However, it seems that we might do better to start from a positive standpoint.  That is, if we understand that sexuality is something meaningful and good and powerful... and if we understand that God (spirituality) is meaningful and good and powerful... then it only stands to reason that we'd want to figure out how the two are supposed to fit together.  Thus we must ask ourselves, if you will, what are our good God's bluprints for good sex?

I will be very concise and very direct about my conviction on this subject:  Sex is designed for one man and one woman, meaningfully committed to each other in a marriage relationship.

OK.  Now I've said it.  I can't make it much more black-and-white than that...  So -- are you still reading?  Or has the wall just come up?  Seriously -- do you feel that I'm being anachronistic and/or hypocritical and/or judgmental and/or idealistic?  Do you jump to the conclusion that I'm being "too conservative" and/or "too American" and/or "too self-righteous"?  Actually, I'm guessing that a lot of people (including readers of this blog) would (either consciously or subconsciously) object to such a "narrow" allowance for the combination of sexuality and spirituality.  And personally, I would agree that defining things in this way can be very tricky in our world today.  But for the record, I don't feel that we necessarily have to go the route of Constitutional amendments or coordinated law enforcement to change the last half-century of social trends.  I don't advocate discrimination, or hate crimes, or cold shoulders toward people who chose to live by different convictions.  And I don't have some pie-in-the-sky notion that we'll be able to "fix" our world's take on sexuality and spirituality.

But I don't think I can back down from unapologetically defining God's plan for sex.  From the very beginning of time, the afore-mentioned "blueprint" for sexuality and spirituality was made clear.  Man and woman were designed to complete one another, to be physically and spiritually united with one another for life, and to enjoy freedom from shame as sexual beings created for the mutual enjoyment of one another.

Later on, in the time of Jesus, God's plan for sexuality and spirituality was reinforced and amplified.  Jesus himself said that a husband and wife were made to be united for life -- emotionally, socially, economically, and physically -- because in marriage "they are no longer two but one."  Furthermore, we are charged to "let no one split apart what God has joined together."

Other sections of the New Testament talk about how God seriously cares about the way that we use our bodies -- particularly as it relates to sexuality -- and how the institution of marriage is meant to be honored.  Without question, the Bible makes it clear that there are simply no provisions for sex outside of the covenant of marriage.  Old Testament Law demanded the public execution of any sex offenders!  And although the message of the New Testament leaves some room for less than ideal marriage situations -- it's stil crystal clear that even the less-than-ideal solutions are within the confines of the marriage relationship.  Now, I know there are popular arguments out there for "non-traditional" means of "marriage."  Still, from my vantage point, questions along the lines of "What is marriage anyway?  Shouldn’t it be more about the heart than about the legal certificates?  I mean, who married Adam and Eve?  Why is it so important to have an actual ceremony to say what’s in your heart?" basically bypass the issue.  Instead of coming at the topic of marriage from a cynical standpoint, I would ask "Why would a couple choose to not be married in our culture today?"  It's a commitment -- speaking loudly in a world afraid of commitment.  It's a cultural statement -- taking a stand in a society that's increasingly aligned in the opposite direction.  And it's the way God intended it to be.

"But seriously," someone might ask, "isn’t it just a cultural thing?  Didn’t people also previously use the Bible to defend racism and slavery and oppression of women?"  Well... unfortunately, I can't deny that Scripture has been frequently abused throughout the course of history... And I'm not foolish enough to claim that my interpretation of the Bible is absolute and infallible... But looking through the references which I alluded to above (which I encourage you to study out for yourself), it's hard to draw any other reasonable conclusions about God's design for sex.  As imperfect and impossible as the institution of marriage may sometimes seem, I truly believe that marriage between one man and one woman is God's set of boundaries for sex -- like the rock-ringed fire-pit to contain the fire for a troop of boy scouts' usefulness and enjoyment... like the sidelines on the sports field to keep the game manageable and fair... like the rules of the road that maintain safety and protocol for daily transportation... like any other series of analogies that one might develop to make this point.  Sex is designed to be enjoyed by one man and one woman, meaningfully committed to one another in a marriage relationship.

Even so, it's significant to note that not everyone is intended for marriage!

In spite of the lies that our culture perpetuates, the Bible is clear that celibacy and singleness are to be celebrated!  Jesus himself said (and modeled) that it's actually better not to be married.  Unfortunately, our culture -- our cult of the god Eros -- does everything in its power to negate this message and insinuate that something is wrong with anyone who might actually dare to live a life free from the constraints of marriage and sexuality... But this is a discussion for another post... Please keep the dialogue going (if you've managed to read this far) -- and please stay tuned for the conclusion of this series.