(Feel free, by the way, to post your comments anonymously)

Gut reaction: Eric's crazy. I really don't want to think about this right now, but then I did ... my emotional response and the word that came to mind = VULNERABILITY.

My gut reaction is "can't wait!"

Then I think of Solomon's Song of Songs, and a blog series I've been reading on the SoS here: http://www.jesuscreed.org/?cat=38

I owe Archibald Hart a huge debt for his book, The Sexual Man, which gave me the freedom to think of myself as a male. From his Introduction: "Feeling as if they are struggling to keep their heads above turbulent waves of testosterone, most men report a tremendous conflict to control their sex drive. They feel driven by their hormones and find that their God-given sexuality, rather than being a delight and source of vitality, has been forced into a dark secret filled with shame, frustration, and anger. Their struggle keeps them unhappy, robs them of complete fulfillment in life, and very frequently destroys their marriages."
That's just the start of it, but the book helped me to see myself as God created me and gave me balls enough to stand up for my maleness. Prior to that I tried (in vain) to be a nice (read, feminine) person, and what ended up happening is that I struggled with this irrespressible force within me and ended up trying a very destructive route to deal with sex, instead of being truly Christian about it. Ultimately, Jan and I were able to openly discuss my sexuality (boy, was that tough to initiate, and yet totally exhilarating once we reached an agreement that was mutually satisfactory!). I have to say that our sex is still not "dream boat" experience all the time, but it is far less guilt-inducing, and consequently, more satisfying. [I feel like I have to add--my advancing age, complete with medication to fight prostate enlargement, has been a help. In other words, I dare not say that I've solved the problem--especially for the young men who need it most. But I certainly believe that Christian sex is ultimately more satisfying than the non-Christian alternative.
Eric, I welcome your initiation of the discussion! May we all benefit from it!
DA

"Christians" don't have "sex."

That's my first association of the two words.

I'll let you know if more comes to mind.

my first reaction is that although every christian has sex (at least the married ones) noone really feels comfortable with that idea.
i think this very much goes back to the augustinian reading of paul - the duality of spirit and body. spirit being good, and the body being bad. everything that happens with the body can only lead to evil, and especially when it seems to have more power than the spirit.

my second association is paul's metaphor of sex that is still very puzzling in my mind. "This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church." (Eph. 5,32)

those are my two...

within the context of a Christian marriage, the following associations come to mind... pure, guilt-free, the physical expression of profound love and intimacy with another. Hope that helps!

All I can think of is: Check out www.nooma.com and some of Rob Bell's books. The website and books pretty much state that 'Christian' and 'Sex' are okay to appear on one sentence!!

Well, Eric, I've thought about this before, and I haven't answered because I just have such a hard time doing so. I agree that sex is a wonderful, God-given gift, that is is something to be celebrated, enjoyed, and appreciated, but I can't really connect with that on a personal level. I am, after all, a single man. For me, I have always been taught that any expression of my sexual self is sinful and wrong. Have a sexual thought? Jesus said it is committing adultery in your heart. Have a sexual act? That's even worse. And I am surrounded by sexuality, which can be very hard on me, as it is for many single Christian men who are struggling to stay pure in a world that is pulling us strongly the other direction.

There are those people who say that even if you are single, there are ways to still be a sexual man while staying pure, but to me it has always seemed like nonsense.

So this topic has always felt somewhat empty to me, like reading a love letter written to someone else. What do you think, Eric? What do you have to say to the single person about sexuality?

Perzik

Good point, Shawn. I'm hoping that to tie up my series with a "So what?" post -- addressing these kinds of questions in particular. So I'll withhold further response until then. Feel free to ask tons of clarifying questions after I've posted those thoughts, though...